September and October

So these last few months have been so FULL!!!!  It has been such a nice change after such a hard summer.  School has been great!  I really love my program.  I am so blessed to have found something that I am passionate about.  I am in the process of doing all my grad school applications -which are far more time consuming than I ever thought possible-.  But the future is bright.  

For those of you who did not know, I am now a single lady again.  Things were just bigger than me.  I still love Adam very much, but I am looking to the future and remembering the past fondly.  Life here I come!  In fact tomorrow I am going to wrestle a pig!!! :)  I am so excited!!  I'll make sure to take lots of pictures!

So now for the pictures and there are lots of them!  :)

 My old roommates hosted a Decades party!  Can you guess what decades we're from.  Bethany's (middle) costume is so epic!!!

 Now here is a picture of my Relief Society!  I was called to be the Relief Society President the end of March.  It is far harder than I expected it to be, but that has been one blessing of not having a boyfriend, I feel like I can put so much more effort into my calling.  I love these girls! 

We had to take a picture for the Stake Presidency, so I didn't take a bloggertunity right in the middle of church, but I figured I would share with you the people I love so much! 

 Now here are the girls from my program.  These are some of the senior girls.  I love them so much.  We have a great class and I'm so lucky to have made such good friends!  The blondie on the back left and the brunette in front of her are co-presidents with me for our program club called NSSLHA (National Student Speech Language and Hearing Association).  They are great, I feel lucky to be able to work with them!

 Here we are in the homecoming parade. I was in charge of homecoming for my program and I think it turned out pretty well.  I helped design the sweaters we're wearing!  :)

 So this past weekend I got to go home with Dolly and her cute kids.  I was able to go shopping on Friday and get some cute clothes.  Now if you didn't know I love cardigans and shrugs and sweaters.  So I splurged and bought a few cardigans!  So when we got to Mom's house she looked so pretty we all got dressed up and had a Cardi Party! I have such a beautiful family! 

 Then we went up for a photo-shoot up the mountain.  Sadly we couldn't search for a great spot because of all the hunting going on, but we are beautiful so ignore the scenery.

 So I love this picture!  We didn't have anyone to take pictures of us together, so Dolly put the camera on the hood of the car and she lined it up so Mom would fit perfectly in the shot.  As soon as the picture snapped she ran back and realized that Mom is the little guy and so the rest of us didn't fully make it in the shot.  :)  This makes me happy though!

 Aren't we sexy?! :)

 I love this  picture of Mom.  I'm not sure what she's doing, but she looks fantastic!

And of course, here we are looking lovely for church on Sunday!  :)  We just couldn't resist! :)

 A couple of weekends ago we got to go to Gardener Village with Dolly and Travis and their family and Maija and her kids came to.  For some reason I only got pictures of Connor and Cambree and none with any of the adults.  But Connor was so excited about the witches.  He was so cute!

 Isn't Cambree beautiful?!

 Connor loved this witch.  He just kept looking at her and wondering what she was.  We tried to get him to put his arm around her, but he was so befuddled by her.  It was cute!

 Last week I was able to get with my RS counselors and have a Halloween party.  Here is Jessica and her mummy pizza!  So cute!

 I made evil deviled eggs! :)

And here are my girls.  From Left to Right  Me, Emily, Jessica, Becca and Michelle.  They are so crazy!  Especially Becca and Jessica!  I love them very dearly and consider myself lucky to serve with them!   They're great!

 I went to a vintage wedding last Friday night.  Sadly, I dressed in the car and I didn't realize how disheveled I looked, but it was really fun.  I was roommates with these sisters here.  They are amazing girls from Missouri! 

 So I thought you'd like this.  So sometimes you feel like this.  (that's a turtle at Koosharem Elementary's play ground)  And this summer I really kinda felt like that. 

But then.

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Sometimes you feel like this! :) Its been one of those years!

 But with a little help from this side and the other, I'm now feeling more like 

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THIS!!!!

 I've been learning more and more this year how much the Lord loves me.  I am learning that I really can put full trust in Him.  Did I want to lose my dad this year?  Absolutely not!  Did I really want to get married?  Of course!  But I'm beginning to learn that if I put my trust in the Great Orchestrator of the Universe I can be happy through it all.  This life is not that men might suffer and grapple our way back to eternity, but really that we might have joy.  I can be happy.  Has my heart been broken in a few different ways this year?  Yes.  Have I cried?  Certainly.  I've been down, but I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.  So instead of rolling over, I am saying charge!  The future is bright and I know who I am and I know that, even though it seems a little backwards to me, God has a plan for me.  He loves me and with time and the right ingredients, my wants and desires will come to pass, but not a second too soon.  

So, all in all, things are going great! 
Wish me luck on the pig wrestling! :)  Pictures definately to come!

Catching Up Part II

Well, I havent really been doing too well at the whole blog thing lately.  So I took my camera out this morning and vowed to at least have a go at it.  I was surprised by how many bloggertunities I hadn't capitalized on yet!

So here we go.

 Here Melissa, Mom and I are at Fishlake.  This was the day after Dad passed away and I think we were all a little hazy, but its was good to be with my Momma!

 It was a little windy.  I think it took Scott by surprise! :)

One of my best good friends Tasha got married on July 1st.  They had these cool shoes made with their wedding date printed on the side!

 For the 4th of July I went sailing with these crazy girls.  We went to the BoyScout camp at Bear Lake and they conveniently had wetsuits and sail boats, so we had a good time!  We are sooo cool!

 So something has possessed me. 1- to take this picture and 2- to actually blog it for the world to see! 

I'll explain.  1- I had braids in my hair. 2- I didnt realize how burnt I would be, so I must've been feeling rather tan. 3- There was this cool canoe. 4- AND a bow and arrow.  In other words, I felt like Pocahontas!!! : )  So after peels of laughter, we got at least a couple good pictures taken.

 Canoeing!

 And of course, some time with my man.  : ) We went on a ride over the mountain from Bear Lake back to Logan.

 Until we found this mud hole, which was extremely deep.  We didn't dare go through it since there were some big rocks in the bottom of it.

 But I stepped in the wrong place and almost didn't recover my flip flop, but through ingenuity and luck I was able to get it back out of the 3 feet of mud it ended up in.

Then there was some Connor time.  I just stopped by Dolly and Travis's house just to visit for a minute before heading back to Logan.  But the sun was so hot and Connor was so cute, I couldn't resist playing in the sprinklers with him.  I did dry off about the time I made it to Salt Lake, but it was very worth it!

 We get a little intense!

 Dolly and her cute little fat Cambree girl!  She just keeps getting more and more fun!  She's even sitting up now!

 Here's Manning Meadows on the Monroe Mountain.  I went home a few weeks ago and Mom and I went up the mountain.  It was beautiful.

 Ha!  We went to Captain America in 3D.  It was a lot of fun.  Are we goofy or what?  I sure do love this goof ball!

And this was just last night.  See how good I am at keeping my blog updated?! : )  We went to the Cache Valley Rodeo.  It was a lot of fun.

And that folks is all for now.  Maybe now that I feel life is back in order, I'll blog a little bit more.

Oh, PS I just signed up for the GRE to get into grad school!!!!  Wish me luck!!! 

Excerpts from the Book of the life of Alycen Fielding

I haven't wanted to blog since Dad passed away.  It been a very new experience. :) naturally!  And normally new experiences require time to learn how to cope and to come out on top, but I think this kind of experience will be difficult no matter how many times I experience it.  

I've decided TIME is the biggest key and of course the ATONEMENT.  

We all miss Dad very much.  Its absolutely amazing how many times I am reminded about him in a day.  It seems that he had more hobbies and interests than I ever realized!  Every day is a new experience. Some days I feel almost normal, which most often, in the middle of those days, I think 2 things, one after the other: "Should I really be feeling okay right now."  Followed immediately by, "Thank you Lord for a moment of respite." 

At moments like this, its either go crazy or count your blessings.  Sometimes I go crazy, but it really is easier to counting blessings.

Some of the moments that we have passed through in the last few months are almost too sacred and special to blog about, but I want to share my testimony and how it has been strengthened.

The Fielding family has always been a very blessed family.  If someone got sick, you prayed, but you knew they'd get better.  So when Dad got sick, I guess we all just continued doing what we did best, Believing that the worst would never happen to us. 

So as the news went from bad to worse then to gone, we all felt a little shell shocked.  I know I am certainly not the only Fielding or friend to Fielding that has almost daily thought in a dazed sense, "What just happened?" 

So now to the testimony.  Its funny as you go through an experience like this, because you start to wonder what exactly is the Worst?  Did we get the worst or could it have been even more awful?  Is death really the absolute worse?  

I testify to all of you that I know that the Lord God Almighty has truly created a Plan of Happiness for His children.  I know that death is not the end.  I know that God didn't take away Dad to be cruel or unjust, but it is an incredibly important part of this mortal existence.

A few days before Dad passed away he was coherent enough to give me a blessing.  I will forever feel privileged for that moment.  In that blessing he said many times, "You are a Fielding and you will always be a Fielding."  He was testifying to me of the Plan of Salvation.  Death could only remove him from my physical presence for a time, but I will always be his daughter.  I will always be a Fielding! There is nothing he could have blessed me with that could've given me more comfort.

Through all those longs days (and honestly I don't know the half of it.  Mom was there constantly.  I at least got to go home for a few days at a time!) through all those nights adjusting Dad's leg, or getting him water, or pestering the nurses for something that would make him more comfortable.  Through the tears and the realization of the reality of the situation, to that very last day in the hospital, when we knew that this would be his last day with us, I know, I feel it from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, that my Savior was there.  I felt his presence so strongly that last day in the hospital, but it was witnessed unto me that he had been there each time we needed him.

I feel very strongly that our Heavenly Father and His Son are especially tender to those who have to experience Cancer or any other disease.  They are aware of our situations.  They know our pains.  They know our achings. And they do truly hear our prayers.  I know there is a God in the Heaven and I know that His Son truly took upon Himself all of my sufferings and above that, all of the sufferings of my dad.  

I can do hard things, as Elaine S. Dalton has said.  I can because there is an Atonement, because there really is enough love coming from our Savior to fill in all those little holes and tears that life has made in my heart.  Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but I know it is true.  And that, my dearest family and friends is my testimony.  I have not been deserted.  I have not been left alone.  And I will conquer this life, just as my Dad did.  

Leonardo!

So for the past week the Fielding bunch has been squeezed into room 590 at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center.  All for this guy

 Now don't be frightened, or think he's being neglected.  This really was his idea of some hospital humor!
I'm still laughing about these pictures.  Dad had been saying he needed some extra pain medication but when I asked to take some pictures he just lit up!  It was hilarious!  He pulled some of the funniest faces I've ever seen.  He is quite the character.  Little did he know that the world would eventually see these beautiful photos. 

We've been here since Saturday May 7th.  He'd been at home recovering after breaking his hip a month ago.  But it seems that it was necessary for him to "experience" a few more things because that Saturday night a kidney stone came really knocking.  Mom decided that the emergency room might be the best option.  Well that lead to them finding the tumors on his lungs and they sent him to Utah Valley Hospital to remove the stone and figure some things out.  So they removed a 9mm kidney stone!  Which is incredibly large.  The doctor had to remove it in 6 pieces!  So with that out of the way they went in on Tuesday and did a biopsy of the tumor on his lung.  It was confirmed that indeed it was cancerous.  What kind or where it was coming from was unsure, but they would work their hardest to find out. 
So here we are a week later and guess what?  They still don't know for sure what kind of cancer it is.  They are assuming it is OsteoSarcoma, which is Bone cancer.  The good news is that they did a bone scan and they didn't find any other spots.  They are still thinking it is bone cancer because Dad is too young to be at the point of breaking his hip.  So they think it is a pathological break.  Which would have caused the cancer to spread.  The other good news we received is that the first place cancer would spread would be his lungs.  So we are hopeful.  So we've got stage IV cancer, why?  Well cancer is considered stage IV when it leaves the origin and begins growing in another area.  So Stage IV we have.  We should begin chemo soon, but hopefully we will get a 100% positive on what kind of cancer we have. 

 Anyway.  We love this man!  We are excited for him to start feeling better.  It looks as though we will probably get sent home before the week is out.   He just needs to be up and walking a little better and a few other things.  Keep praying for us.  We are staying positive and hopeful.  We appreciate all the prayers we can get.  We know the Lord is in this and we have seen countless tender mercies.  Many many thanks to those who have helped in so many ways.  We love you and we appreciate your phone calls. 

Some of my favorite moments have been:

The phlebotomist came in one morning and so cheerily and loudly called dad "Leonardo!" Very funny.
One of our nurses was a slightly taller version of Willy Nelson!  He was sure a sweetheart though.
Of course the pictures. 
When dad complained about the cheap "homemade deals" that they had strapped to his legs.  He was convinced some little lady was just downstairs sewing them up and sending them to our room.  At least we know he hasnt lost his spunk!
There were many more, but they will have to be for another day!

Party Time!

Adam and I were invited to a Murder Mystery Dinner this past Saturday.  I was the Countess Natalia Irina Forilska and Adam the Captain Malcolm D Meirre.  It was fun.  It ended a little weird as no one really killed the person on purpose, but more by accident. : ) The night went well, I only learned that a Russian accent is one that I find hard to keep consistent!  Not my best accent night! : )

 Here we are during the last round, enjoying the modern wonder of a chocolate fountain! 

 The same girls who invited us to the Murder Mystery Dinner also had a Pirate Party a few weeks ago.  Adam was working late so we didnt come together, but I was so proud of his costume when he got there.  He went all out!!!  I like a man that's not afraid to get into things! 

 Here are some of the ladies... the scullery maids that attended the party!  We're kinda scary, at least I am!  : )

"Where there are friends, there is wealth."

-Titus Muccius Plautus -

Catching Up

I realize I have been slacking, so here is a quick catch up on the things I have been up to.  Come to find out I haven't taken many pictures, but I still did some fun things. 

Here my roommate Bethany, my friend Nicole and I are posing during half time for our beloved Utah State Aggies!!!  They actually shattered the backboard during half time and it took them 45 minutes to change it.  When they finally got the new backboard on they tightened it too much and it too shattered.  Finally they just rolled in the practice basketball hoop and played on that.  It was interesting to say the least.

Here I am with Ol' Blue! : )

These are some of the girls I like to hang out with.  (They're actually be my roomies this summer!)

Brooke and Kelci and I went to breakfast one morning to celebrate Kelci's mission call.  She's going to Kirtland Ohio!  I'm super excited for her. She'll do great.

When we went down for Gracie's blessing (Adam's sister's baby!) we got to stop on the way back and see some of my girlfriends.  They all got to meet Adam and were super excited.  Tasha on the left actually got engaged on Saturday.  I'm super excited for her!

I also got to meet this beautiful little girl!  She is so cute and I'm so excited to play with her.  I'm thinkin she'll be a lot more sassy than Connor!  She's super cute.

Adam went to Moab a few weeks ago, so the girls and I all got together and had one epic girls night.  We even had a sleep over in my living room!  Here is just a portion of what we ate.  We're still in college.  Nothing too fancy like Micah would make, but one day I aspire to be like her!!! : )

 

Here are a few of the girls who stayed over.  I think there were about 6 of us that spent the night and about 2 more who came and went.  It was so much fun!  It's wonderful to have good girlfriends!

And of course there was lots of this guy!  I realized when I began this post that I've not only slacked off on posting, but also on taking pictures!  I'll try to be better... Maybe in May since finals are creeping up, but who knows! : )  Life is crazy, but life is good.  

Just as a PS, if you didnt know my dad broke his hip this past week, so please keep him in yours prayers.  Hips aint no quick recovery!  Thanks so much!

Here's the pic of the rods they put in his leg.  The one pointing down goes almost to his knee!!!